Lost and found?

The Philosopher (see The metamorphosis of houseflies and hedgehogs) found her mother! 

On Wednesday she decided to type her mother's name in AGENT, the popular social networking site Russian speakers use.  She found a woman under that name and wrote her a message:
     "Do you know a man named {insert her father's name here}?"
Within a couple of hours she had an answer.
     "Why? Are you my daughter?"

On Thursday they met in the food court of the mall.  The mother cried.  The Philosopher didn't, but asked the 42-year old woman why she was crying.   The mother gave her 10 000 tenge (almost half a month's salary for The Philosopher) and bought her some shiny bits of plastic jewellery.

On Friday they met again.  The mother asked The Philosopher to move in with her.  The Philosopher said she'd think about it.

On Saturday I got a phone call.  "I'm at my mother's house. I'm moving in - tomorrow."

And just like that, 20 years of painful agonizing, perhaps on both sides of the relationship, entered remission!?  I'm still overwhelmed and amazed when I think of it.  But, while this may have the ingredients of a good fairy tale, I cannot just finish with the words: "and they lived happily ever after".  More than being a realist, I am also sceptical.  Concerned. 

I first heard about it all after their first meeting on Thursday.  As is usual when one of our girls has something to tell us, the story came out in bits and pieces and in no particular order.  I'm sure there is some sort of structure to they way they retell events, but linear chronology is not the framework they use!  As such, here are snippets of what she had to say, in no particular order.

     "I have her eyes, but she says in everything else I look like my father."
     "I'm родная!" (pronounced: rod-NAI-ya)
     "She asked me to live with her, but I don't know.  Of course, it would mean I could save on rent."
     "I'm родная!"
     "She said the doctors told her I was dead."
     "I haven't said anything to my hozaika (the woman she has boarded with for over a year and who has taken her under her wing).  She will only moan that I will leave her, and I'm not ready to decide that or argue with her."
     "I'm родная!"
     "She has her own 2-room flat - maybe she will transfer it to my name!"
     "She asked if I was 'offended/hurt' by what she did...I said, no"
     "She said her father was strict and she wasn't married, so she couldn't keep me."
     "I'm родная!"
     "I can't call her mama, that's just,.... I can't."
     "I'm родная!"
     "She said she was young and unable to care for me.  She looked for me later, but couldn't find me."

As you can see, most significant to her is this notion of being "родная".  The word literally means relative, and is commonly used in the plural to refer to one's relatives.  I don't think it's usual to use the word in the way she used it, but then again, her situation isn't exactly usual!  In this case she is referring to a deep longing that apparently has finally been filled - a longing for (biological?) attachment, for connection, for roots.  "I belong!"  In an earlier post I wrote about little G asking if she would still be detdomskii if she found her mother (see Will I still be an orphan if...?).  Now I think I understand a little more what she was asking.  In their world, rodnaya and detdomskii are opposites!

For me, the most significant part is the apparent contradictions in all the stories her mother told her about the circumstances of her birth and subsequent 'abandonment', and the speed with which everything else unrolled!  Who is this woman?  Is she really her mother, or some clever scammer taking advantage of an orphan's desperate need to belong?  Even if she is her biological mother, what kind of woman is she?  Will she take advantage of her offspring's desperate need to belong?  Even if she has good intentions, will she be able to act in her daughter's best interest or will the guilt and her desire to make up for what happened 20 years ago unintentionally clip The Philosopher's newly fledged wings?

Regardless - the emotional upheaval for both of them must be great!   Please God - as they establish their "rodnaiyedness", may they find healing from past hurts, mutual support in present circumstances, and freedom for future growth!